Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Is Marriage under Attack?
Is the sanctity of marriage under attack?
Our oldest and most respected institution may be under attack and no one knows quite where to turn.
Well we here at "Atheist Evolution" have gone on the hunt for answers.
In the aftermath of Prop 8 and all of the self professed marriage warriors you might think that to find someone to rail against this injustice would be easy.
Not this time
This time it appears to come from our most trusted ally in the fight to maintain traditional marriage.
KARL ROVE, you might think? Karl Rove, Bushes anti gay marriage bulldog? The political Prop 8 proponent??
Is this the same Karl Rove who made us feel safe by saying;
"Marriage is a very important part of our culture and our society. If we want to have a hopeful and decent society, we ought to aim for the ideal."
"We cannot allow activist local elected officials to thumb their nose at 5,000 years of human history and determine that marriage is something [other than the traditional definition]."
Yes, this is the very same man, who once defended the rights of traditionalists to deny others their rights for so long and so very publicly.
He has been the right denying voice of the people for so long, how could this happen, and what did he do?
Well, he is getting a divorce.
"NO! NOT NOW KARL!"
You may be shouting.
"Not when we had so many people convinced that marriage is all about commitment, love, family, and legal rights, all while successfully denying others the commitment, love, family and legal rights that they are seeking!"
How can we continue to peer into the lives and relationships of others if our marriages greatest spokesperson betrays the very foundation of marriage?
But wait, Karl has something to say.
In a statement from (someone who we assume was Karl) to us here at "Evolution of an Idiot", he defends his position as this institution's most ardent defender.
"You may think that getting a divorce goes against everything I have said about marriage, and that, if I betrayed those ideals, I would be revealed as merely a hateful and bigoted little man who plays with the rights and lives of others just to suit his career while working for the most evangelical president in US history but you would be wrong to think so. I am STILL traditional marriages most valiant believer. What many of you forget is that I was married before. This is my SECOND marriage, and I believe in the sanctity of this august institution so much, and with so much fervour that I am going to free myself up to do it a third time! The world can't have enough traditional marriages in it, and I need gods blessing again. I mean I am not going to my pastor to get this divorce, so clearly marriage is not a religious thing, and the legalities and ensuring equal treatment is paramount but believe me when I say that now that I have done it twice, my belief in everything that marriage stands for is stronger than ever. So much so that I can tell you this....
I WILL MARRY AGAIN!!"
Clearly this means that Karl Rove can now continue to demonstrate that his support for traditional marriage is stronger than ever by getting married for a THIRD time.
So I am sorry if I alarmed you. I am sorry if you thought that marriage was losing an ally, or that we would have to stop being so obsessed with the rights and relationships of others.
I just wanted you to hear the real story here first before crazy liberals distorted it, making Karl look like some sort of mean spirited, selfish and low brow hypocrite.
So rest easy, you can continue to fear what you don't understand, or what is unfamiliar because.....
Karl Rove is still on the job.
PS- No word as to whether or not his marriage was destroyed by the existence of gay marriage.